Upset and Frustrated

This is so stupid. Hubby and I are “fighting.” Although I really don’t know if its a fight if one party refuses to “engage.”

Anyway, this morning while trying to leave the house for an appointment, the garage door refused to shut…AGAIN. I tried to get the door to close (using the electric opener) for about 20 minutes…door goes down about 6 inches and pops right back up…push button…down and right back up. There is nothing blocking the infrared beam, the door just refuses to close. So, I call Hubby; I’m upset (I have already canceled my appointment because I won’t be able to get there in time) and my frustration leaks through into my conversation with him. Here’s the thing, though, I have been asking Hubby to figure out what is going on with this door for MONTHS! Now, he has gone out there and “fixed” it, because it works just fine for him. But as soon as I push the button…nope, not closing.

While on the phone with him, he says “are you pushing the right button?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?! As if I can’t tell the difference between the door button and the light button? Anyway, I hung up on him I was so mad.

He called me back a few minutes later and I could here one of his co-workers in the background saying “you need to fix that, man.” Hubby proceeds to tell me to just close it manually by disengaging the opener and letting the door “fall.”  I asked “Won’t that damage the door?” So, we have a bit of back and forth on how heavy the door is and what not and he says “Fine, I’ll just use my lunch break to drive home and close the door for you.” I told him repeatedly he didn’t need to come home, he could just look at it after work, but he insisted on driving home.

So, since he was coming home on his lunch break, I made him him some lunch. When he got home, he spent about 5 minutes or so trying to get the door to close (which it wouldn’t) and finally disengaged the opener and let the door “fall.” He claims it won’t damage the door, but the door bounced when it hit the ground!

He came inside and started eating then said he needed to get back to work, but started saying stuff like:

“You’re an intelligent woman, why can’t you figure out how to close the door?”

“You would rather call me at work and flame spray me in front of everybody, because just like your Dad, it’s easier to get angry and yell at someone rather than think like a rational human being”

“I have serious doubts about…[taking the position that requires him to travel]…if you can’t even figure out how to get the garage door to close”

Including claiming that the only reason I want him to take the promotion he was offered is because I’m “greedy” (job pays almost double what he’s currently getting) and if I want more money then I need to “get off” my ass and earn it.

So, long story (not exactly) short, I’m upset, he’s upset and my garage door opener is still not doing its intended job.

I’m pretty sure he was already having a rough day at work and I’m sure my complaint about the garage door didn’t help, but he didn’t need to take it out on me. And he uses the “I’m sure you think I’m being an asshole, but” as an excuse to actually be an asshole! Because, obviously if he claims it it can’t be true.

Some notes on the above statements made by Hubby. I’m not sure where the flame spraying him in front of “everybody” came from. I called him, he didn’t answer, he called me back. So if I “flame sprayed” him in “front of everybody” it would be because he called me while standing in “front of everybody.” Also, he knows how upset I get when he compares me to either of my parents! My parents are NOT good role models and I have worked very hard to not be like them. My Father has a terrible temper and his fuse is non-existent. I have spent years reigning in my temper and not reacting to things that make the average person angry (this probably isn’t good for my blood pressure since I tend to shut down emotionally). As for the dig at my intelligence, he also knows that not much raises my blood pressure like being called stupid.


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